You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize