Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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