we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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