her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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