i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize