You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize