i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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