hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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