i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize