my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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