We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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