Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I met the friendliest cop last night
its not stalking. its research.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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