Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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