ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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