Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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