There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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