Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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