She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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