so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize