FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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