when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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