her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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