She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize