I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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