I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
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Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
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We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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