ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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