Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize