dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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