Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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