She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize