I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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