phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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