There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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