everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My dick has a subreddit
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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