Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
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I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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