He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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