Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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