there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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