they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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