I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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