we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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