Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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