remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
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I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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