Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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