Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize