You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no, he came in my armpit
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
only you would photoshop your dick
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize