who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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