it was like eating out sand paper
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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