party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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