so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
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